I can love you like no one can...

I can be your superman!

Amazing song..

Anyhow, I am ill and it is quite depressing. I want someone to bring me soup! Or go to work for me. That'd be awesome.

Everything has been going pretty well.. Can't really complain. But I seriously need new friends. I should put out an ad on craigslist.... Cuz that would find me some normal people.... NOT.

Anyway, I am still searching for a car.. I'm not sure if I ever said I was, but I am. I want a Volkswagen Jetta. Classy, right?

6 days until Cedar! Alumnae tea! I must admit I am nervous.. A lot of these girls I haven't seen since I left college... and I don't feel like I left them on great terms. We will see though. I'll have my BIG to protect me :) And my Devionare :) and my Mandar (? Maybe.. I don't know if she's coming...) BUT WE WILL HAVE SO MUCH FUN!!!

Ice cream time!

Laters baby.. (50 Shades of Grey reference... if you haven't read it, shame on you.. it's fantastic and I want a Christian Grey for myself yum yum <3)

I used to think that we were forever ever

We are never getting back together. Like ever.

Good God. Can I please express how much I love Taylor Swift? Every single song she has applies to me in some way. It's like we're the same person.. with the same brain... except she's super gorgeous. Kay thanks for letting me say that.

I haven't posted in quite some time. 7 months to be exact. And that's probably because they've been really great months. Recently, however, things have not been so peachy. I will explain why.

Reason number one: One of my stupid ex boyfriends texted me the other day. It was just kind of stupid and it made me mad. I didn't think he deserved a response, so I didn't say anything :)

Reason numero dos: My best friends have left for college. I spent the entire summer with Samantha, Jaclyn, Chelsea, and Branden.. and with the exception of a few fights, we were awesome. Nothing was too major and we got over it all. Now that school has started, I have felt abandoned. But honestly, I think that it is for the better. Samantha and Jaclyn are awesome and have an excuse not to hang out with me. They're in LOGAN, UTAH. Can't expect them to hang out with me all the time. But they make an effort to talk to me and leave me amazing voicemails all the time, which I appreciate :) Branden works lots and lots and works out lots and lots. But he always makes time for me when I need him and we have a standing sushi date once a week! So he's freaking awesome. I guess that means the only person I'm having an issue with is Chelsea. An incident happened that I really don't want to discuss with the general public last weekend, and I realized what a selfish and terrible friend she is. So I'm over her. Hooray! And I was feeling abandoned by her and her alone. Coming to this realization makes me feel so much better.

Also part of numero uno, in another group of friends, is that I miss my sisters. My big, my little, my Devionare, my Mandar... Basically the people that kept me sane in the hell that was Fall semester 2011. Can't wait to see you guys for homecoming! :)

Oh and Meghan. We don't talk as often as we used to, but everytime we do, you seriously crack me up :)

Stephen too. Even though you're a freak, I love you <3

Reason numero tres: Peeps be crazy jealous. Work just has not been going very well. Honestly after just typing about all the friends I have and how much I love them and miss them, it makes this not even seem that important anymore so I'm moving on. I'm the freaking manager for Pete's sake. Who gives a flying hoot what they think :)

Wow blogging is good therapy!

I'm buying a new car. A Volkswagen Jetta is the dream... But any sedan will be fine. I'm excited. Everything I'm seeing is super cute! Hooray!

Alright well it's my mama's birthday so I'm gonna go hang out with her now.

Oh and for the title of the post? That's not only for the stupid boyfriend, it's also for friends that I thought were going to be friends forever. But I can't trust her anymore, so hacienda that. Remember, even when you're sleeping, keep your eyes open <3

I'm captivated by you baby like a firework show

13 days. 13 days stands between me and the beginning of my second decade of life. I know what you're thinking. "It's just a birthday. What's the big deal?" Well, let me enlighten you. Birthday's scare me. Ever since my sweet 16, I have cried on my birthday. And why? Well I'm scared. Every year on my birthday, I take the opportunity to look around my life and examine where I am, and how close I am to achieving my dreams. And for the last 3 years, I haven't been happy with what I saw. And there I was, getting older, closer and closer to, in my eyes, failing. But in reality, there were people in my life, things going on in my life, that made me unhappy. Completely. Which is sad because I'm a genuinely happy person! But this year, there will be no tears on my birthday. I am in such a good place, and although I have my breakdowns (today for example), I am a better person today than I've been in the past, not only because of my age, but because I'm happier, and therefore more excited for my future! So happy birthday to me :) In 13 days that is. Birthday list time? Shyeah.. I think so.

1. Nicki Minaj OPI Nail Polish collection (yeah I think that's definitely needed)
2. A new purple yoga mat (I already have a pink one... a purple one will definitely be cute)
3. Black yoga towel (beach towels are getting old)
4. Yoga clothes! (We have some super cute new capris, shorts, and tops at the studio and I am envious. Maybe one day I'll be comfortable enough to show my stomach in class)

I think that's all I really want. I'm boring haha :) Money is always nice I guess. I'd put it towards going back to school to get my Wedding Planning Certificate! Yaysers!

Ok well that's enough out of me :)

Remember, you're never fully dressed without a smile.... Smile.... SMILE! Smile, baby, smile! Yeah! :)

If you don't know what I'm talking about, shame on you and watch this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKYiDHZyQK0

Bye! :)

You don't know a thing about me

Hola! I am sorry I've been MIA for the last couple of days. My life has seriously been wake up, work, sleep, yoga, sleep, repeat. Yesterday was a lot more fun than I expected it to be. Not only did SAD (single awareness day) not make me the least bit sad, but I found myself enjoying the day. My lovely sister bought yummy chocolate covered strawberries :D and my lovely boss, brandie, from the bikram studio bought us all individual red velvet bundt cakes!! Can someone say weight gain? My daddy took me, my mama, and one of my sisters out to Chinese (our favorite restaurant) and then we went home and watched some tv before I absolutely conked out. Seriously. I woke up in the same position I fell asleep in. I move a lot usually so that was quite the accomplishment. I also reactivated my Facebook. I decided that I'm not going to let BAH humbugs keep me away (BAH means bitch ass hoes btdubbs) I'm also super excited because I'm saving up to get my wedding and event planning certification! I'm in between two schools right now. So we'll see where that goes! I also designed my business card so I'm really excited about that. I feel like in going in the right direction and that feels so amazing. One of my best friends, Stephen, is going to try to transfer to school out here instead of suffering in the arctic tundra hell that is Cedar City!! Annnnd tonight my other besties, branden and Chelsea and I are going to see The Vow, sob our eyes out and go eat dinner!! We might even karaoke if the feeling overtakes us! Basically my life is going swimmingly! Things are picking up :)

Until next time,
Remember to not be afraid if I fight with you. Be afraid when I don't, because that means I don't think there's anything left worth fighting for.

Adios amigos! <3

Doesn't mean I'm lonely cuz I'm alone

Today was an amazing day! Texting my best friends all day is always amazing, but besides that I had a great day at work. Let me start from last night. After I deleted my facebook, I completely fell apart. I started bawling my eyes out because I lost two of the people who I considered family during my three semesters of college. Luckily my mom was there and let me cry on her shoulder while I spilled my guts about how lonely I felt, the dreams about stupid boys and how I know I should be happy but am not. My daddy even came into my room and scratched my back while I fell asleep sobbing into my pillow. Two best friends lost in one day. The feeling was as bad as a breakup. My mama told me that everything would be fine in the morning. I didn't believe her, but I had hope. But, come 7 AM, I woke up and I had a new outlook on everything. The only reason people leave is because someone better is coming! And guess what? When I went into work today, I realized that everyone I work with is not only my friend, they're becoming my family. We're all there for a purpose, and that purpose is to change peoples lives, one yoga class at a time. I have my lovely Jody (who I call Jody-kins), Ashlyn, Kelly, Leslie, and not to mention all of the other instructors who love to tease me in class :) I may have lost two friends, but I gained a second family.

So that's how amazing my social life is, now onto the exciting stuff! I took a 1 PM bikram yoga class. I realized today that I've been doing yoga for about a month now! I'm finally kicking my leg out in standing head to knee, I almost have my standing split in my standing bow and today for the first time I got my forehead to the floor during standing separate leg stretching pose! I am super proud!

Well I believe that's it for tonight! I have to work again tomorrow and I'm probably going to take an 8PM yoga class with my mama. Maybe Chelsea will come with me!

Until next time,
remember, the people who want to stay in your life will always find a way :)
Buhbye!

Facebook be gone!

So I did it. I deleted my Facebook. Probably just for a week, but still. I'm proud. From now on, I'm going to use this as my sounding board. I'm sick and tired of people putting me down and telling me what I can and can't do. So here we are. Hopefully people will come talk to me. Maybe. This will probably be a combination of my life experiences and stupid stories I make up. Who knows. Maybe someone will actually like this one day.

My weakness is that I care too much..

Problem number one: I want to be friends with everyone. Problem is, that's kind of impossible. Everyone is going to have a problem with you sometime. In other words, you can't please everyone. Which is a problem for me because, like previously stated, I am a people pleaser. Or was. Lately I've been doing what makes me happy, something that people who knew my old people pleasing self are not happy with. I guess that's how you know who your real friends are though. My real friends are happy that I'm happy, even though they may not get to see me everyday or they miss me. What I'm struggling with is letting the fake friends go. Why do they mean so much to me when I have so many awesome friends who support me and are surrounding me? It's like I can't appreciate what friends I do have. I need so many more. This need for approval is torturous. So from this second forward, I'm changing my mindset. I'm just going to do me. If you want to be in my life, then make an effort. I'm done being the only one trying. If you don't want to be in my life, then just slowly fade away. That will make it less painful for both of us I think. Problem one (kind of) solved.

Problem number 2 (**names have been changed to protect the guilty): These dreams that I'm having every night have got to go. Seriously? Must I dream about the two guys who broke my heart EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT? Like seriously. The first dream is always about **stupid boy numero uno.. He comes back and apologizes and wants me back. I refused, fight ensues... the end. Obviously an upsetting dream. The next dream with **stupid boy numero dos... well... I can't really remember it. All I know is that I don't want to see him in my dreams. Or ever again, really. The first dream I've only had once and it made me mad, but the second dream I've had every night for almost 3 weeks. I feel like that needs to stop immediately. So now that it's out in the open, I think the dream fairy can know I don't appreciate it and can bring me good dreams from now on.

Problem number 3: People need to mind their own damn business. If I want to post something pissy and negative on my facebook, instead of attacking me about it, maybe you should text me and see whats going on, cuz there might be a deeper problem that you don't know about. My life may seem like butterflies and gumdrops, but it's not. I'm still struggling with a lot.

Good thing number 1: I LOVE MY JOB! The yoga studio is so positive and I love my co-workers.. All the instructors, my boss... everything about it, I just love. Actually, everything about Vegas, minus the fact that two of my best friends aren't here and two of my other best friends are busy all the time, is fabulous. Vegas is definitely my home and I'm so happy here. The only reason I'm slightly perturbed and unhappy is because of the few select people from problem number one... which makes me wonder even more why I even care. Hmm

Good thing number 2: DISNEYLAND!! One of my best friends informed me that we can go for his birthday cuz he has tickets! Yaysers! I can't wait! :)

It's hard to make a really ranty, angry post when you're also watching the Big Bang Theory... So this was supposed to be angry but ended up being happy anyway. Oh well.

Special thank you to Alicia, Meghan, Stephen, Chelsea, Samantha, Branden, and Jaclyn for being the best friends I could ever ask for and supporting me through everything and anything I go through.

Until next time,
I'm going to remind myself to always be as kind as I can to everyone, because my smile and kindness might be the only sunshine people see all day.
Sayonara <3