Problem number one: I want to be friends with everyone. Problem is, that's kind of impossible. Everyone is going to have a problem with you sometime. In other words, you can't please everyone. Which is a problem for me because, like previously stated, I am a people pleaser. Or was. Lately I've been doing what makes me happy, something that people who knew my old people pleasing self are not happy with. I guess that's how you know who your real friends are though. My real friends are happy that I'm happy, even though they may not get to see me everyday or they miss me. What I'm struggling with is letting the fake friends go. Why do they mean so much to me when I have so many awesome friends who support me and are surrounding me? It's like I can't appreciate what friends I do have. I need so many more. This need for approval is torturous. So from this second forward, I'm changing my mindset. I'm just going to do me. If you want to be in my life, then make an effort. I'm done being the only one trying. If you don't want to be in my life, then just slowly fade away. That will make it less painful for both of us I think. Problem one (kind of) solved.
Problem number 2 (**names have been changed to protect the guilty): These dreams that I'm having every night have got to go. Seriously? Must I dream about the two guys who broke my heart EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT? Like seriously. The first dream is always about **stupid boy numero uno.. He comes back and apologizes and wants me back. I refused, fight ensues... the end. Obviously an upsetting dream. The next dream with **stupid boy numero dos... well... I can't really remember it. All I know is that I don't want to see him in my dreams. Or ever again, really. The first dream I've only had once and it made me mad, but the second dream I've had every night for almost 3 weeks. I feel like that needs to stop immediately. So now that it's out in the open, I think the dream fairy can know I don't appreciate it and can bring me good dreams from now on.
Problem number 3: People need to mind their own damn business. If I want to post something pissy and negative on my facebook, instead of attacking me about it, maybe you should text me and see whats going on, cuz there might be a deeper problem that you don't know about. My life may seem like butterflies and gumdrops, but it's not. I'm still struggling with a lot.
Good thing number 1: I LOVE MY JOB! The yoga studio is so positive and I love my co-workers.. All the instructors, my boss... everything about it, I just love. Actually, everything about Vegas, minus the fact that two of my best friends aren't here and two of my other best friends are busy all the time, is fabulous. Vegas is definitely my home and I'm so happy here. The only reason I'm slightly perturbed and unhappy is because of the few select people from problem number one... which makes me wonder even more why I even care. Hmm
Good thing number 2: DISNEYLAND!! One of my best friends informed me that we can go for his birthday cuz he has tickets! Yaysers! I can't wait! :)
It's hard to make a really ranty, angry post when you're also watching the Big Bang Theory... So this was supposed to be angry but ended up being happy anyway. Oh well.
Special thank you to Alicia, Meghan, Stephen, Chelsea, Samantha, Branden, and Jaclyn for being the best friends I could ever ask for and supporting me through everything and anything I go through.
Until next time,
I'm going to remind myself to always be as kind as I can to everyone, because my smile and kindness might be the only sunshine people see all day.
Sayonara <3
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